Benny

The Story:

An out-of-towner accidentally drives his car into a deep ditch on the side of a country road. Luckily a farmer happened by with his big old horse named Benny.

The man asked for help. The farmer said Benny could pull his car out. So he backed Benny up and hitched Benny to the man's car bumper.

Then he yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull." Benny didn't move.

Then he yelled, "Come on, pull Ranger." Still, Benny didn't move.

Then he yelled really loud, "Now pull, Fred, pull hard." Benny just stood.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Okay, Benny, pull."

Benny pulled the car out of the ditch.

The man was very appreciative but curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Benny is blind, and if he thought he was the only one pulling he wouldn't even try.

Vocabulary Practice.
Mark the best choice.

An 'out-of-towner' is someone who........
lives in the city
is not from the town he or she is in
someone who drives cars for a living
a person who needs help

'Yelling' means........
calling out softly
speaking in an ordinary voice
screaming
whispering

To do something 'nonchalantly' is to do it........
casually
angrily
menacingly
happily

'Hitching' something to something else is........
to pick them up
to tie them together
to put them down
to connect them together

Questions for Discussion
What is funny about this joke? Why won't Benny pull without help?

Activities
Have you ever had problems travelling and being an 'out-of-towner'? What were they? Discuss with a classmate.

Dear God

The Story:

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.

The president was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:

Dear God,

Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.D. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.

Vocabulary Practice
Mark the best choice.

'Badly', in this sense, means.......
poorly done
disobedient
desperately
stupid

In what sense is the President 'touched' by the little boy's letter?
The letter affected his emotions
It reached out and grabbed the President's hand
He was happy the boy thought of him as God
He wanted to carry the letter with him somewhere

When someone is 'delighted' they are.......
Angry
Sad
Excited
Tired

A 'Crook' is.......
a politician
someone from Washington D.C.
someone who steals money
the postal authorities

Questions for Discussion
When you were young, did you ever write a letter to a famous person, and if so, what was it about?
What was the last letter you wrote about?

Activities
Tell this joke to one of your classmates in your own words. Would this joke be funny if it took place in your country? Why or why not?

My first joke...

I have been teaching English as a Second Language for a little while now and have found that a fun and useful way of engaging the students is by having them read jokes. However, good, clean jokes, appropriate for the classroom, are tough to find. I've spent hours on the internet (this is not an exageration) reading joke after joke, with all of them in some way inappropriate. So I've decided to start sharing my jokes on here. Everyday I would like to post a new joke, though that might be a little ambitious, so I'll just say that I will post regularly. Along with the jokes I will post a list of questions I have found helpful. The first joke is the first one that I used; after seeing how well it worked, I continued. This one comes ready-made from This Man .

First joke:
The Story
The doorbell rang, and the housewife answered it. She found two beggars outside. "So, you're begging in twos now?!" she exclaimed.
" No, only for today," one of them replied. "I'm showing my replacement the ropes before going on holiday."

Vocabulary Practice
Mark the best choice.

A 'beggar' is a person who.......
sells food and clothes
has no money
asks for money
does the housework

To 'exclaim' means to..........
say something kindly
say suddenly and loudly
walk quickly
look angrily

A ..... is a person that you put in place of yourself or another.
beggar
rope
housewife
replacement

'Ropes' here means .......
the rules and customs in a place or activity
pieces of strong thick cord
people you probably meet in a special place
houses which are expensive

Questions for Discussion
This joke is telling us something about beggars' life. What is it?
Do you know a joke or a true story about beggars?

Activities
Now you tell your friend(s) the story in your own words.
Pronounce the following words several times:
Beggar
Exclaim
Reply
Replacement
Ropes